I completed the Gulf Coast Half Ironman this weekend.
By all performance measures, I failed miserably. I missed my overall goal by over an hour and had my worst performance in every leg. Yet, as I started to near the finish line, I broke down in tears with pride.
Here’s some context…
My training was going really well until early April when I hurt my knee.
That injury kept me from running altogether and forced me to cut my cycling mileage in half during the last six weeks of training. I went from feeling like I was on pace to reach my goal, to feeling unsure if I was going to be able to do it at all.
I considered pulling out of the race, but because I couldn’t defer my entry and the hotel was already paid for, I decided to give it a shot.
How it went:
The swim
The swim turned out to be great. There was some concern that it might be canceled due to dangerous water conditions from a storm the day before the race. However, on race morning, the water was choppy but still swimmable, so the race went on as planned.
They staggered our start, sending 3 at a time into the water, 5 seconds apart. This made it so no one was kicking each other and honestly, it was absolutely wonderful.
I finished the 1.2 mile swim in just over 46 minutes.
My swim training:
I actually only swam once in training. I did 1990 yards on my birthday in February and didn’t spend any other time in the water. I’m confident in the water and felt devoting my time to the other legs would have higher return. I wanted to hit 40 minutes, but with lack of training and the water conditions, I was happy with this.
The bike
The bike was awful.
I ride a 2012 Felt B12 tri bike with no race wheels, and the first 20 miles of the bike was directly into a headwind. I’m not the best cyclist, but having cut my cycling mileage and riding a less than ideal bike in this situation really hurt my time.
At the 20 mile mark, I averaged 14.8 mph and had an average heart rate of 156. I was torched.
It all went downhill from there. I finished the 56 mile bike in 3 hours and 29 minutes.
My bike training:
I spent a ton of time on the bike. This leg was by far the most disappointing. I put in so much effort on this leg and ended up more than 20 minutes worst than my last Half Ironman bike time (3:06).
I know you can’t compare races and different courses, but it hurt to have devoted so much time to improving something to get rocked that hard and come up so short.
The run
I got off the bike and still didn’t know if I was going to be able to run. My knee injury never hurt when riding, I’d just feel it after riding. I knew I was going to be able to finish the bike, but I didn’t know what would happen after that.
So after the bike leg, I sat down, taped up my knee with KT tape, and put on a 2xu compression knee sleeve. As I stood up I texted my wife and friends “this is my misogi”, not knowing if I’d be able to finish but knowing I had to try.
For the first time in 6 weeks, I ran.
The course was a 4.3 mile loop with the change made up in the final .2 mile finish.
My watch died around the 5 mile mark after seeing my wife and friends on the first loop. At the time, I was averaging a 9:18 pace on the run. I completed the first 8 miles before walking. It was in that moment I realized I was going to finish.
Tears started to build up, but I pushed them back and started running again.
I crossed the finish line with a 2:19 half marathon time. This was 30 minutes slower than my original goal, but I am was surprised I was able to do it at all.
As I crossed the finish line, tears came back. I sat down and cried.
“I did it. I made it. I didn’t think I could. I did it.”
I walked to my wife who was there cheering me on and trying to capture photos – I waved her phone aside, hugged her, and fell apart again.
“I didn’t, I didn’t think I could”
The takeaways:
I finished the race in 6:49:30. I was 1,150 of out 1,523 total athletes.
I missed my goal by a mile, but I don’t know if I’ve ever been more proud of myself. I didn’t give up, I didn’t quit. In the face of uncertainty and assumed failure, I said I’m going to try anyways.
I think there are a few takeaways worth sharing that may be an encouragement to others:
1. Doing what you said you’re going to do holds more weight than achieving the goals we set for ourselves.
I think this is important.
My stretch goal was 5:30. My realistic goal was under 5:50 (my last half time), but I faced obvious setbacks this time around – injury, rough race conditions, and basic gear.
This happens to all of us. Regardless of our goals, life happens and gets in the way. Things happen. But following through and doing what we say we’re going to do regardless of circumstances is admirable.
You’ll respect yourself for it, and take pride in it always. Even if you don’t hit your desired outcomes.
2. Doing hard things is important.
I could have quit.
I could have said “I’m not doing it, I’m hurt”. No one would have judged me for that. In fact, people probably would have said it was the right decision to not injure myself further. But without doing hard or frightening things you never have the opportunity to be proud of yourself.
I don’t know what you aren’t going after or trying, but taking small easy wins won’t cut it. Take big swings. You’ll be more proud of yourself for swinging and missing than bunting and getting on first.
3. Your support system is your most valuable asset.
When I finished the race, I sat alone and cried, but then I went and celebrated my win with friends and loved ones.
First my wife, who came and sat in the sun for 7 hours to watch me hobble across a finish line. Then my buddy who did the race with me, and then my best friend of 20+ years who came with his family to watch and support me.
I’m so blessed to have wonderful people in my life.
Winning in private isn’t winning at all.
