We live in a world that is obsessed with self-improvement.
Interestingly, despite this obsession, as a society, we are sicker, heavier, more anxious, and in deeper debt than ever. Our lofty goals to become the best version of ourselves are failing. Research has found that over 90% of goals are abandoned and left unaccomplished.
Today, I want to talk about why that is and share my system for goal setting that can help you be one of the 10% that actually achieve their goals.
But first, why do most goals fail?
We live in a world that is accustomed to and expects instant gratification. We want results, we want them now, and we often approach our goals with the same mindset.
This isn’t necessarily our fault. Look at any weight loss ad, fitness program, or side hustle course. They don’t just promise results, they promise results fast.
These are actual examples I found this afternoon:
“Lose 15 pounds in the first 30 days”
“Reveal your abs in 2 weeks”
“How to go from $0 to $10k a month in 90 days”
We get sold on promises like this, but we have also been conditioned to put these kinds of timelines on our own goals. We take our goals or desired outcomes and tie them to unnecessary deadlines. As a result, we create an opportunity for failure and discredit the progress we do make.
But does this mean we throw out timelines altogether? No, but there is a time and place for time bounds.
Stacking: my approach to goal setting
I believe there are four types of goals:
- Identity- and Mission-based goals
- Strategic goals
- Milestone goals
- Daily goals
The real power comes from stacking them so your daily activity supports your mission-based goals.
To help illustrate these goals, let’s consider the following analogy:
Imagine with me for a moment that you are going on a trip. You don’t have room for a lot of supplies, but you know you want to go on the adventure of a lifetime!
Our first course of action is to determine where we are going.
Your final destination is the most crucial decision. It will be the north star for every other decision you make.
Could you imagine trying to head out on a trip without knowing where you wanted to go? Which direction would you take when you left your home? What form of transportation would you use? What would you bring with you?
But we do that all the time in our own lives.
We set short-term goals without knowing our Identity and Mission Goals,
These reflect the person you want to become, the impact you want to have on the world, or the legacy you want to leave behind. They’re your “big goals”. These types of goals take years, if not decades, to achieve.
Knowing your “big goals” in life is the first step to any success.
Once you know where you’re going, you need to how to get there.
Can you fly? Can you drive? Do you need to hike? How long will this journey take?
We may not know exactly how to get there, and that’s okay, but spending time identifying the “optimal route” has value. While doing this, we may identify amazing “must-see” stops along the way.
Strategic goals are the equivalent of your mode of transportation.
For example, health and fitness are a huge part of my identity, as is work. I’ve made a purposeful decision to work for organizations that don’t impact my ability to exercise and care for my well-being.
This strategic goal has impacted every new opportunity I’ve taken or passed on.
Once you know how to get there, identify the best places to stop along the way.
When you go on a trip, you can travel for a few days or maybe weeks, but you’ll eventually need to find a town to restock, reassess, and rest before going forward. As a result, we typically break trips into smaller trips with rests.
The same thing applies to achieving big goals,
We need to find “milestones goals” to stop at along the way. These “milestones” mark different seasons, or “cycles” as I talked about in last week’s letter, where you are dedicated to reaching them
Once you reach a milestone, rest and prepare to reach the next one
This isn’t associated with one of the four goals, but I think it’s critical to pursue our mission goals long-term.
After each milestone goal, it’s important to stop, rest, and reassess the course ahead. When traveling, you can try to plan out the smoothest course to your final destination, but you will undoubtedly be met with bad weather, hikes you aren’t prepared for, or maybe even dead ends that cause you to turn back.
Each season and each milestone will require something a bit different – a new skill, a new companion or help, or something else.
It’s important to make sure you have the health, skills, and support system needed to tackle new seasons.
True success is in the journey, not the destination.
Life is lived today, not tomorrow.
When we think about travel, we celebrate enjoying the journey but we discount the same attitude when talking about achieving goals and “living life to the fullest”. We celebrate “disappearing for 6 months” and becoming “obsessed” with our goals, but at the end of the road, achieving our goals makes us just a small portion of our lives.
The people we meet along the way,
The experiences we get to have,
The way we can help others in need along the way
The fun we had…
They all end up being more important.
I don’t say that to discount your big goals – I have them too – but I say that to remind you that “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” – Mark 8:36.
Find a way to enjoy every day, not just the milestones and final destinations.
If you can do that, you’ll achieve your goals.